On Location and Relocation

... and celebrating three years of a happy marriage

Photo by Robert Linder on Unsplash

My husband and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary this week. We took a pontoon boat ride around a local lake and ventured out 7 miles to The Great Lakes. We brought along my made-from-scratch wedding cake flavored cupcakes topped with cream cheese frosting and French Vanilla ice cream. We toasted when we hit Lake Michigan with a Czech craft beer and Diet Dr. Pepper.

Before the cruise we feasted on crab legs and seared the filet mignon. This year we chose toasted garlic bread and called it enough. We didn’t bother with a salad or baked potato. After dinner we met at the game table and played 5-crowns, and dice and tied for the winning crown this year.

It’s also the time we go over our budget, plan next year’s vacations, and talk about our future.

This year I brought something new in for discussion.

I want to move. Not a local move, but a big bad-ass move. One that will stretch our imaginations, give us a better bang for our buck, and provide us with a major lifestyle change.

This isn’t a sudden urge.

I didn’t seriously start thinking about relocating until reading Rocco Pendola’s "Living The Semi-Retired Life: My Grandmother Died Sitting On Her Couch, Watching TV back in May of this year.

The gist of the story is that his grandmother lived a productive, thriving, and social life until she retired at 59 years old. For the next 21 years her world shrank. And then she died. I’m brutally paraphrasing his wonderful story because I need you to understand it’s exactly what I fear happening if I continue living the ornamental lifestyle I’m unsuited for.

My written response to Rocco’s grandmother’s story:

I'm absolutely convinced my retiring 3 weeks ago will lead to a quicker death if I don't find something stimulating to replace my work. I worked in gambling almost my entire life. It was a social network for who and where I entertained and engaged in working 8 hours a day sometimes 6 days a week.

I haven't stopped moving. I just no longer move with purpose. I hit the gym, ride my bike, and walk around the neighborhood, but that isn't enough. My mind needs to stay engaged or loneliness threatens to consume me.

Part, if not most of it is due to living in a small town that has little to offer that interests me. I love big cities and large metropolitan areas. I can live in the heart or within 15 minutes of a metropolis and I'm poetry in motion. Someone once said you can never be lonely in a large city, the buildings will always be your friends. It's true.

Reading books and screen time helps but they're no substitutes for engaging "in life."

Great read. I'm sorry about your grandmother. I'm grateful you shared her story. It forces me to look at my present situation more seriously. Thank you.

For the past few months I lived a semi-retired life. I focused working an online business, and lived life waking, sleeping, and eating to the tune of my own circadian rhythms. It was all good, maybe great… but something was still missing.

For me that something (is) living a lifestyle of my choosing, or getting closer to the idea of what that might look like. I never had to think about it before because my profession dictated location, and what the geography presented at that time. I made it work until the next change came about. Many times I lived in places thought of as working vacations. As I mentioned in past articles, I’ve moved over 40 times.

My husband Carl agreed to entertaining moving.

Well, he didn’t say no.

He’s asking where and I didn’t have an answer. The right place hasn’t yet presented itself.

We Married and Relocated

My being married is obvious to everyone except me sometimes. It still hasn’t sunk in, even after three years. I spent 62 years being single. Being married is a big deal for me. I pinch myself every time I say “I’m Mrs. Patti Petersen… Mr. Carl Petersen’s wife.”

I love being married. I love sharing and caring with the person who is my lover, best friend, and confidant. He gives me that special place where I feel safe being who I am, all of it, the good and bad, sometimes the rotten part of me.

Marriage means compromise. And then of course sometimes there’s sacrifice. I want to avoid both, at least to the tipping point of discomfort. The move must be right for both of us.

We moved into this area because he’s a Michigan boy and loves being near the Great Lakes. This particular location was chosen in part due to his truck terminal and we are steps from Lake Michigan. There is a state park located across the street where limited hiking is offered. The Walmart and grocery are 4.2 miles from home. The nearest Costco and Trader Joe’s is 38 miles away, as is the closest fashion/speciality center mall. The closest casino where I could go to work if so desired (which I don’t, but I like that option available while living in an area that offers little else) is 61.0 miles away.

P.J. Hoffmaster State Park, 0.3 miles from my home

Carl is on the road a great deal of the time. We adjust and live around his schedule. It’s not easy being a trucker’s wife. I don’t know when he’s coming home and many times I never know exactly when he’s leaving. Our lives are dictated by his dispatch. Being alone gives me time to explore the area deeply.

I think three years is long enough to discover if Michigan is the right place for me to thrive… and I determined that it isn’t.

What $150,000 A Year Does For You In Middle (Median) America

Changing Direction

Rocco shared numbers in the above newsletter that opened my eyes to relocating in the US. Or maybe after digesting the information I shut my eyes. The reaction was visceral. Relocating here in the US is no longer just about packing up and moving. There is so much more to consider.

It’s the discretionary shopping and spending that really got my attention.

I did a random search. Here are a few stats that got me thinking. I compared optimal living conditions, and threw in a couple bucket list items, like living on a beach, being near hot springs, close to (climbable) mountains, forests, large cities in close proximity, and a few other amenities like massages, well-stocked libraries, fresh produce, and here is what I found:

• Medellin, Colombia is 72% less than the US.

• Phu Quoc, Vietnam is 63.5% lower than the Midwest

• Lagos, Portugal is 50.3 % cheaper than Muskegon, MI

I’m not ruling out moving to another place here in the US, yet. But my eyes are now softly focusing on moving to another part of the world.

Rocco’s numbers in his article are coming out of California. I took this into consideration when I started running our numbers here in Michigan. Our numbers are close and we live 2,189.7 miles apart. The numbers tell a story moving forward in the US. This isn’t even touching the surface for necessities such as healthcare, transportation, and housing.

Another option we’re entertaining is living a full-time RV life. It isn’t something I thought of but Carl brought it up recently, and the lifestyle is worth exploring.

Photo by Daniel J. Schwarz on Unsplash

In 2024 we’re planning to vacation in various parts of the US for two to three weeks at a time to learn if we can still find nice places in the US that offer amenities and a reasonable cost of living as we’re aging. We’re also planning an overseas trip to Spain to experience what it might be like living there, also.

If you have suggestions or comments, feel free to shout out. How many of you relocated in the past 5 years? I’m particularly interested in those of you who’ve relocated to other parts of the world, especially those of you 55 and above. Please share in the comments below.

Until next time!