"I want to move," I said for the umpteenth time since last fall when I first brought up the subject to my husband. After almost four years of living here in Michigan and still not feeling any better, I knew it was the wrong place.
No matter how much I try to fit in, I don’t. Or maybe I don’t want to… fit in.
“Well, pick a place and let’s visit. I’ll take a couple of weeks off, and we can go check it out,” he responded, not uncaringly but genuinely frustrated by my indecisiveness. “But remember, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side….”
So what’s wrong with the Midwest, and why can’t I make it work?
In Cathy Goodwin’s book Making the Big Change here are a few preliminary questions that got me started thinking about how I really feel and where my social identity is tied to my lifestyle. Hence, the discomfort.
How do you feel about driving your car of the new state license plate (or in this case my current state)? Or, wearing a badge that lists me as a (new) resident?
Answer: I feel horrible, so much so that I keep my old Nevada license plate on the front of one car, and a vanity plate that reads Cali Girl on the other to remind me of where I came from.
You start a new job and your co-workers ask, “So where are you from?”
Answer: While living in my happy places, I never once felt compelled to explain where I was from. I took on the identity of the city I lived in at the time. My go-to answer was always, “I’ve lived in a lot of different places, but I’m happy to call (…) home now.”
How do you feel about sharing your new lifestyle with old friends and family?
Answer: I share little. Those I’ve shared with are quite surprised to find I live in the Midwest. First, most are flabbergasted that I’m married. Once they get over that, it makes a little more sense why I live in Michigan. But still, the Midwest is so out of my element and how I've lived my past life that many have questions, like if I’m sick, broke, or trying to hide out from someone or something.
In 2015, I made a list of potential places to retire. I was seriously considering where to move and make my forever home. At the time, legalized gambling as a career dictated where I lived, and I was getting tired of work limiting my choices. Although the playing field had expanded, my mindset was still confined to a limited perspective.
However, with retirement approaching and gambling no longer dictating my location, I began thinking of new places to live with more freedom and excitement.
What I didn’t realize was that my past lifestyle clearly dictated much of my inner happiness.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
(Listed as one of the top up-and-com places to retire. I’d grown up close by but left at 17 years old, and clearly didn’t remember it from adult perspective.)
Housing: $1999 for the neighborhood I chose, a little above average, but not much in terms of distance from downtown, proper. No amenities included, except a one-car garage.
Weather: Four seasons, gloomy, predominantly humid, with short autumn and spring.
Things to do: I live in a vacation destination so says the literature on Michigan. I guess coming from Indiana, Ohio, or Illinois this may be true. They (we) go out for ice cream, drink beer, gather for small talk—a lot of talking—and eating, hunt, fish, live at the lake (big or small) in the summers. Football is big, as are most team sports. Winters are spent navigating black ice, wind, dark skies, and the occasional snowfall/blizzard that may sock you in for a couple days when the electricity goes out, and plows don’t come through right away. You must have a car to get anywhere.
Caveat: I live 43.2 miles north of Grand Rapids. I speak only for western part of the lower peninsula of Michigan.
After settling in for almost four years I’ve managed to meet some amazing people that I consider friends. It takes a while to get to know folks here in this part of the Midwest. Many have never lived anywhere else, some for generations.
This state’s two peninsulas, meanwhile, have ample freshwater – the Great Lakes contain 90% of North America’s supply, lower temperatures, and vast swaths of undeveloped land.—Michigan is a Climate Change Haven
Lake Charles, Louisiana
(Gaming was expanding, affordable housing was plentiful, and it was close to the Gulf of Mexico—a body of water I felt familiar with for water sports and recreation.)
2024 Update:
Rent: Under $1,000 ($950) for a 2BR 1BA with swimming pool and amenities. It is 30% lower than the national average.
Weather: It will get hotter and flooding has increased, it’s also in a hurricane zone, making insurance difficult to get.
Things to do: The surrounding area has a lot of culture, it’s in the heart of Cajun country; golf, fishing, hunting, casinos, and close to Houston, Texas for daily excursions. And the people are friendly. There are no strangers in Louisiana.
A study released by the National Bureau Of Economic Research (NBER) ranks Lake Charles dead last in the nation for places to retire. (Shows you what I know.)
The weather and climate change are determining factors for Louisiana. I’d definitely retire there except it wouldn’t be sustainable for roots.
Stowe, Vermont
(Winter sports, closer to NYC, offering the best of both rural and metropolitan areas within reasonable travel distance. Meanwhile, I’d never visited that part of the country.)
2024 Update:
Rent: Nothing under $2,500. I found a 2BR just outside Stowe proper, in Morrisville (it is a nice burb) with no amenities. The apartment was old, dingy, and lifeless. 113% above the national average.
Weather: Its climate is characterized by cold winters and warm summers.
Vermont's Climate Will Change in the Future. Vermont will continue to get warmer and experience more frequent heavy precipitation events.—Vermont Department of Health
Things to do: It’s known as the ‘ski capital of the east’ with an upscale village ambiance. It’s a rural environment, no nightlife, and unless you’re a skier I’d probably pass. (It is unsurpassed in beauty, though… but winters are more harsh than in Tahoe, and it is more desolate.)
Too expensive and too rural, having since visited.
Hot Springs, Arkansas
(Thermal pools, gem and rock hounding, mountains for hiking, and a temperate climate.)
2024 Update:
Housing: I can’t find anything available reflecting nationwide statistics for this area.
Hot Springs' housing costs are 17% lower than the national average, though utility prices are slightly higher by 1%. Transportation, including bus fares and gas, is 11% cheaper compared to the rest of the country. Grocery prices are also a bit lower, about 3% below the national average.
Weather: All the climate reports suggest that wildfires are expected to become more frequent in the next 30 years, that may be a big problem, needing further researching.
In the coming decades, Arkansas will become warmer, and the state will probably experience more severe floods and drought.—EPA
Things to do: Hot Springs is nestled in the Ouachita Mountains, and famous for its natural hot springs and historic bathhouses. The city offers a range of outdoor activities like hiking, fishing, and boating on nearby Lake Hamilton. Beyond that, I don't know much more about the area.
Arkansas is worthy of exploring for a potential retirement, here in the US.
Lake Tahoe/Reno
Back in 2015 I was dreaming. I was blindly choosing what I thought looked like fun places to live without looking at sustainability because I didn’t have to worry about it back then.
I was sitting in Evansville, Indiana between jobs, wondering what to do next.. Back then I nicknamed it the armpit capital of the world, quintessential potlucks, casseroles, corn on the cob, Hoosier pie, high school sports, open casket funerals, flat, and landlocked.
I got out a USA map and spread it out on the dining room table and asked myself some questions.
Where was my dream location, the one where I always wanted to live? (Reno/Lake Tahoe, Nevada)
What was the worst place to relocate to? (Right where I was sitting, in the Midwest.)
How could I live in my dream place? (Gaming was there, so was a college, and it was less than three hours away by car from coastal San Francisco, a vibrant, metropolitan dynamo.)
Who did I know that might help me? (I had a friend who had an empty condo and let me stay there while I found a job.)
Why did I decide in less than the time it took to plot the drive time and determine the interstate I needed to take to get there? Because it felt right, my spirit soared when I thought about living there. I was inspired to create a way to make it happen. And I got excited. There was no second guessing, fear, or worrying how I was going to make it happen.
I didn’t think about details, like housing, cost of living, or job replacement. I just went for it.
And maybe that was part of living the dream.
2024 Update on Reno/Tahoe:
Rent: First and foremost, the waitlist is full, and availability isn’t until August. The unit I inquired about is $2,050 a month. I will say the amenities are worth paying more for, but at this price, buying a house would make more sense. However, that isn’t happening in retirement.
Weather: Semi-arid climate. The summers are hot, completely different from the South or Midwest. The winters are cold, but not biting or gnawing. The snow is powdery. Elevation is 4,500 feet.
Rain and flooding will become an issue at some point in the future, impact from wildfires are an unknown factor at this point.—DRI
Things to do: Reno is an outdoor mecca of the West. What makes Reno fascinating is that it has shopping, dining, and medical facilities, and in less than 20 minutes by car, you can be standing in some of the most awesome wilderness found in the US.
Reno’s cost of living is 5.1% higher than the national average.
Is it worth sacrificing so much to live in the place that brings me the greatest joy and makes me feel truly whole? More importantly, is it fair to ask my husband to move to a place that could strain us financially and potentially force us to move again in the future?
The solution
Research. Visit. Explore. Make a decision. Sounds so easy, doesn’t it?
It isn’t.
Relocation is no longer a luxury. It’s expensive to move.
The average cost of moving across the country is $4,600, but prices vary from $2,400 to $15,000, depending on mileage, route, weight and other factors.—Forbes, 2024
Gone are the days of packing up and moving on a whim, staying for a year or two, and then heading off to the next magical destination. I believe that, whether moving around or retiring in the US, if we want to live in places that are too expensive, we might only be able to afford short, costly vacations.
Choosing where to move is one of the hardest decisions we'll make, especially when considering changes in migration patterns, cost of living, new weather patterns, housing availability, clean drinking water, fresh produce availability, amenities, and medical care.
Times have changed, and it's no longer just about considering whether Phoenix is too hot, Seattle is too gloomy, or Tahoe is too expensive.
Today, the decision may have serious consequences, including sustainability.
An interesting resource you may enjoy exploring:
Livability Map and Areas of Interest for Retiring.
See you next week!
I love having my quiet, somewhat boring home base here in small town Ohio — where everyone knows & cares about me — then adventuring to Ann Arbor, Chicago, NYC, Sanibel, Greece, Italy, Paris, Palm Sorings, St. Louis, etc. I hope you find your happy place. Looking for it sounds like fun.
You're braver than I am! I couldn't consider Louisiana -- the heat, humidity, and bugs would all make it a no for me! Very interesting read, Patti.