Consider Magnesium & Massage Instead of Xanax or Valium

Two simple, natural tools that work with the body

Photo by Philippe Leone on Unsplash

What Are the Three Stages of Old Age?

According to WebMD, the older adult population in the U.S. is often categorized into three stages: the young-old (65 to 74), the middle-old (75 to 84), and the old-old (85+).

Health advice is everywhere. We’re constantly reminded to drink 6–8 glasses of water per day, get quality sleep, avoid processed foods, and eat a rainbow of fruits and vegetables. We’re told to exercise at least 150 minutes a week, avoid long periods of sitting, quit smoking, limit alcohol, and maintain a healthy weight.

We try.

We do our best to stay within the bounds, but sometimes we slip—a bag of Cheetos here, a McDonald’s quarter pounder with fries there. We stay up too late binge-watching Netflix, drink more alcohol than water, and push exercise to “next week.”

Maybe next week comes. Maybe it doesn’t.

But here’s the thing—perfection isn’t the goal. If we manage to do the right thing 85% of the time, we’re already a little bit ahead of the game. Yet even with our best efforts, aging well isn’t left in our hands.

Genetics, early life circumstances, and the opportunities (or obstacles) we encountered along the way all play a role. Some of us start life with an abundance of resources—access to good nutrition, quality education, and preventative healthcare—while others are handed a deck stacked against them.

Where we’re born and raised, our socioeconomic background, and even environmental factors can shape how well we age. We shouldn’t take this for granted, ever.

Anyway…

Even being in the ‘right’ place and doing the ‘right’ things doesn’t always guarantee the ‘right’ results. So we must do more to stack the odds in our favor—by taking proactive steps to support our bodies, reduce stress, and keep moving, no matter our circumstances.

I consistently research ways to improve our odds of artfully aging.

That’s where magnesium and massage came into play. These two elements can help us maintain flexibility, manage pain, and support overall well-being as we navigate the aging process.

I’m currently experimenting with these and finding some pain relief, in addition to having more energy, and overall better mood.

Photo by ASN on Unsplash

Magnesium

Older people absorb less magnesium from the gut and lose more magnesium because of an increased renal excretion. Chronic magnesium deficiency is indeed common in the elderly, usually due to a decrease both in diet assumption and intestinal absorption, and it is probably exacerbated by estrogen deficit, which occurs in aging women and men and cause hypermagnesuria (too much magnesium in the blood).—National Library of Medicine

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis, likely due to three factors: I didn’t drink milk as a kid, I have a small, thin-boned frame, and, well, I’m old.

Beefing up on calcium wasn’t going to cut it—it needs magnesium to actually do its job. That’s when I discovered that thanks to soil depletion, most of us aren’t getting nearly enough magnesium.

I hadn’t fully considered how much a magnesium deficiency could have contributed to my (lack of) bone health. Looking back, I realize that my low magnesium (used to also help activate Vitamin D) intake may have been a bigger factor than I ever thought.

Magnesium is a macro-micro nutrient, meaning it plays a crucial role in numerous bodily functions, yet many of us don’t get enough of it.

It’s involved in five high-impact diseases in aging:

• Diabetes mellitus

• Osteoporosis

• Cardiovascular diseases

• Cancer

• Neurological disorders

What does this mean for us?

While we can’t makeup for the past. But we can take simple steps to support our magnesium levels now:

1. Eat Magnesium-Rich Foods – Add more leafy greens (like spinach) and nuts/seeds (such as almonds or pumpkin seeds) to your diet. For something unique, try sprouted lentils or sunflower seeds—sprouting enhances magnesium absorption and boosts overall nutrient availability.

2. Consider Magnesium Testing & Supplements – Most standard blood tests don’t accurately reflect magnesium levels since only about 1% of the body’s magnesium is in the bloodstream. Ask your doctor about a RBC magnesium test, which measures magnesium stored in red blood cells and gives a more accurate picture of levels. If a supplement is needed, do your research to understand what’s best for you—magnesium glycinate for relaxation, citrate for digestion, or malate for energy—since each serves a different purpose.

3. Make Small Lifestyle Tweaks – Reduce processed foods and try Epsom salt baths or magnesium cream on your skin. (Let me be the first to say this is not scientifically proven.) Transdermal Magnesium, Myth or Reality explains it more in depth. But I still do both—they make me feel better—and they were suggested by my therapist.

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Instead of meds

Aging brings its challenges, and stress and anxiety are often part of the package—whether we realize it or not.

Meds

I recently discovered that what I thought was just nervous energy was actually generalized anxiety, which can trigger inflammation. I also learned that stress accelerates bone loss by releasing cortisol, a hormone that weakens bone-building cells and blocks calcium absorption.

My doctor prescribed Valium. I balked. Then he prescribed Xanax on an as-needed basis.

Benzodiazepines enhance GABA, a neurotransmitter that slows nerve activity. This calming effect can ease anxiety, reduce muscle tension, stop seizures, and promote sleep.—Drugs.com

What the knucklehead left out was how highly addictive benzos are—and how brutal the withdrawal can be.

Xanax is addictive because of how it works in the brain, its short duration of action, and the potent calming and anxiety-relieving effect of the medicine that some people may abuse.—Drugs.com

So much for following doctor’s orders.

Let me put this into perspective. With my insurance, I would pay $9.62 for a 30-day supply of Xanax. Without insurance, the cost is $325. On the street, it goes for $3.50 - $20.00 per pill (or bar).

Let’s talk about addiction to benzodiazepines.

On average, outpatient rehab costs can range from $2,000 to $10,000, while inpatient rehab costs can be anywhere from $6,000 to $30,000 for a 30-day stay.—AddictionCenter.com

And let’s not even get into what it takes to get off the stuff—the agony and suffering. It can take years to get back to normal. Let’s face it. We’re in our third and fourth quarter(s) of life.

We don’t have time to waste years recovering from something that was supposed to help us in the first place. Instead of masking anxiety with a quick fix, we need real solutions that support our bodies, not trap us in dependency. At this stage in life, every choice matters—why not choose something that actually helps us age artfully?

So I fell back on my other tried and true approach to feeling better.

Photo by Otto Norin on Unsplash

Let’s Talk About Massage

Massage isn’t cheap. It takes time to find the right person. And with so many types—Swedish, deep tissue, lymphatic drainage—it’s hard to know where to start. But the benefits? Worth it!

The benefits:

1. Lowers stress & anxiety – Massage helps calm the nervous system and reduces cortisol, the stress hormone.

2. Supports bone & joint health – Better circulation means more oxygen and nutrients to bones.

3. Relieves muscle tension & stiffness – Stress shows up physically—tight shoulders, clenched jaw, stiff back.

4. No side effects, no withdrawal – Unlike meds, you don’t build a tolerance to massage, and there’s no ugly withdrawal if you skip a session.

Instead of numbing stress, massage works with your body—not against it. And that’s a game-changer. Massage has plenty of benefits, but it’s not for everybody.

Here are four potential downsides seniors should consider:

1. Finding the Right Therapist – Not all massage therapists are trained to work with older adults or conditions like osteoporosis, arthritis, or circulatory issues. Finding someone experienced takes time.

2. Bruising & Sensitivity – As we age, skin becomes thinner, and blood vessels are more fragile, making some types of massage too intense or even painful.

3. Underlying Health Risks – Certain conditions, like blood clots (deep vein thrombosis), severe osteoporosis, or uncontrolled high blood pressure, can make massage risky without a doctor’s approval.

4. Discomfort with Physical Touch – Not everyone is comfortable with hands-on treatment, especially from a stranger. For some, the idea of undressing or being touched for an extended period can be a dealbreaker.

The truth is, our culture leans heavily on pharmaceuticals, often dismissing body-based solutions like massage, breath work, or micro-movement. But if something as simple as an hour of touch can calm the nervous system, lower cortisol, and support bone health, why isn’t it the first option instead of the last?

Instead of numbing stress with pills, what if we worked with the body rather than against it? Massage might not be the easiest or cheapest solution, but neither is rehab from benzodiazepine withdrawal.

There’s no single fix for aging well, but some things make the process easier.

Magnesium and massage—two simple, natural tools—work with the body instead of against it. Magnesium fuels our bones, muscles, and nerves, while massage relieves tension, improves circulation, and supports overall well-being.

Meds may have their place, but they often come with side effects and dependency. Aging isn’t about numbing discomfort—it’s about staying strong, mobile, and present in our own bodies. By paying attention to what we truly need, we can shift from just getting older to artfully aging.

It’s not about perfection, just better choices, more often. And that’s a path worth taking.

Are you relying (only) on meds to manage aging, or are you exploring other ways to work with your body instead of against it?