Artfully Aging #1

It's time to put your big girl panties on

Photo by Daniel Gonzalez on Unsplash

Living in Michigan with its flat landscapes and familiar urban sprawl, my daily routine felt predictable and uninspiring. Staying connected to the world usually meant a walk to the mailbox, a daily trip to the grocery store, doomscrolling social media, or working my part-time job.

And I woke up crying nearly every single day from lack of inspiration and zest for life.

There is a lot of good to be grateful for, and I recognize it. I have the best husband (ever), a nice home, all the amenities I could ever hope for, clean drinking water, access to healthy, nutritious food; good friends (and a new bestie), but there was (and is) something missing.

Many who are aging in place are content to shop, volunteer, dedicate time to grandchildren and hobbies, but I needed something more artistically inspiring. I decided to jump in the car and take a solo trip across the country to get out of my comfort zone and build courage along the way.

At 66 years old, I found myself living in a cloudy haze of aging complacently and becoming paralyzed with irrational fear. Maybe it was the news or the constant thrum of political noise, or that my husband is often gone for longer periods of time, now.

I let time pass, unintentionally, living uncomfortably comfortable.

Sometimes, you have to dust off your boots, tie them on one at a time, put one foot in front of the other, and start walking to see the real world—to experience firsthand what's happening outside the narrow perspective we often confine ourselves to.

I had to put my big girl panties back on and get serious about living life.

My husband Carl asked that I take this trip with several questions that needed answering:

• Was I romanticizing my love of living in or close to the West Coast?

• Were my health and aging factoring in to expanding my horizons? Could I still navigate metropolitan cities and hike in the wilderness like I’d done in prior years?

• Where would I like to settle down, and would my husband like it as much as I might; and was it going to be sustainable into our old age?

  Learning how to control your focus and physiology empowers you to manage your state, which enables you to feel whatever emotions you want, whenever you want. —Tony Robbins

Preparation wasn’t much

I had the oil and tires checked on the car, packed minimal clothes, and shopped for groceries so I wouldn't have to go into restaurants for meals. I quit my part-time job, canceled all appointments, got a haircut, took a hot shower, had a last-minute health checkup in southern Indiana, and then hit the road west from there.

I had no plan, except heading as far west as the continental United States would allow me. I drove 515 miles west until I got tired and then couldn’t find a place to stay. Everything was booked up, or they wanted to charge extra for checking in before 3 PM. When driving west on Interstate 80, I typically start at dawn and stop in the early afternoon to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes.

In the past, these minor details wouldn’t have bothered me. I would have driven 700 to 800 miles, ignored the sun, and found the first cheap hotel or car camped for the night.

But things have changed in five years. I’ve aged, and become a creature of comfort. There are no more cheap hotels. A Super 8 now costs as much as a Holiday Inn. Nothing in the Midwest is less than $140 a night.

A side trip

Getting to I-80 from the south isn't easy, which gave me the perfect excuse for a side excursion. I chose Hannibal, Missouri, the home of Mark Twain, hoping some of his writer's vibes might rub off on me.

I wove in and out of thick canopies of hardwood forest, rolling hills, miles of croplands, and two-lane highways to get to Hannibal. It’s right on the Mississippi River, and this adds to its charm. There is also a historic downtown and caves to explore. I chose to spend some time in the downtown wandering. One thing noted: there were no political signs displayed. That was a pleasant surprise!

Author’s photo

On my return trip I’m taking extra time to explore this area further. Hannibal has a unique vibe in that it captures history while blending with the present. The town sits directly on the Mississippi and surrounded by rolling hills. It has unique (affordable) housing possibilities. Gas and groceries were less expensive than Michigan

What I’m learning

The first 500 miles have highlighted how much I've changed over the years. Finding places to sleep and dealing with the rising costs of travel are issues I never had to contend with in the past.

My ability is reaffirmed as I navigate new situations and build courage with each mile I travel solo.

Despite the daily routine, this trip is making me realize how fortunate I am to have a supportive husband, a comfortable home, and good friends. It's made me more grateful for what I have while seeking what I feel is missing.

Tips for traveling solo

Plan your daily travel distance and call ahead to make reservations. Things are so much different since COVID.

Ask about deposits. Many hotels require a $200+ deposit to ensure no smoking, sneaking in pets, or damage occurs. Sometimes these deposits aren’t returned for ten or more days.

Don’t forget to include a paper map or atlas. GPS doesn’t always work, and phone service isn't always reliable. Getting lost in the middle of nowhere solo can bring on panic.

I think as aging women, we need to exercise our courage and strength to try new things out of our comfort zones.

Navigating out of our familiar surroundings and embarking on solo travel helps capture a sense of independence and adventure that can be truly empowering and inspiring.

When was the last time you traveled solo, and how did it make you feel?