290 Shades of Gray

Inside 31 days

Image: Author taking a walk along the shores of Lake Superior

In the book Fifty Shades of Grey, the number is used figuratively to describe the moods of Christian Grey, the protagonist of the novel and film. But in real-life, the human eye can distinguish more than 500 shades of grey. — Forbes

There were 290 possible hours for sunshine in the month of January. The sky stayed awash in gunmetal gray with various shades of ash tinted clouds that sent my mood into an interminable state of melancholy.

We had zero days of sunshine in the first month of 2024.

On day nine I looked outside and saw the gray hawk perched within feet of our kitchen window.

A gray hawk suggests your dull survival. —The Astrology Web

Image; Random hawk on a bleak, winter day, outside author’s kitchen window.

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On day 19 I took a walk to the beach to reframe my mood.

Emotionally, water can symbolizes profound depth, changing feelings, or sadness. —Wiki How

Image: Author’s walk along Lake Michigan

In some contexts, gray is associated with conformity and dullness, capturing its potential to blend into the background.

In Michigan, the color gray doesn’t blend into the background, it holds the center of attention.

Living in an environment perceived as boring or monotonous can have various adverse physical and mental effects.

• Mood and energy levels

  Colors have the ability to influence emotions, and emotions, in turn, affect energy levels. If gray evokes feelings of sadness, melancholy, or boredom this emotional response can lead to decreased motivation and energy.

  The problem: I lose energy in being surrounded in neutrals; the grays, browns, and tans for too long. I become sedentary and resort to mindless distraction such as binge-watching Netflix to dull the effects of no motivation.

• Encourages stability in choices

  Its symbolism of balance, neutrality, and subtly can lead into more conservative or risk-averse decisions. The color gray may encourage a preference for stability and reliability over originality or boldness.

  The problem: I was scared to step out of my comfort zone, and started to stagnate, creating a rut inside routine without passion or vision. I quit my career because it no longer fulfilled me, but it was what I knew. In the search for doing something new I quietly quit before ever getting started, my boldness disappeared and left me feeling stuck.

• Color influences perceptions of uncertainty

  In situations where uncertainty is a factor, the presence of gray may reinforce this perception, potentially leading to indecision or a heightened sense of caution. This could impact decision-making processes by encouraging individuals to defer making a decision at all.

  The problem: I was stuck inside paralysis analysis. I couldn’t make up my mind. Bread or tortilla? Turkey or chicken? Gray sweater or black sweater? Should I stay? Or should I go?

“No one understands better than I do the feelings of people who are unsuited to the world into which they have been born. Some have ended up in the wrong body, others in the wrong place. Their misfortune is blamed on a flaw in their personality, when in fact they have merely gone astray in a place they shouldn’t have been.”
― Muriel Barbery, The Life of Elves

The art inside gray

Historically, artists used gray for shading and to create a sense of depth and volume in black-and-white drawings.

Image: Author’s 26th attempt at portrait drawing

I have no confidence or clarity in attempting drawing or artwork. I never use pen or paint. I use pencils with erasers, and tissues for blending. These tools allow me to make and correct mistakes in real time. Using a pencil reflects the idea that not all is set in stone, and adjustments can be made.

The range of shades from light to dark in pencil drawings is achieved by varying the pressure on the pencil, using different light-to-dark grades of pencils, and layering. The spectrum of gray shades represent the depth and diversity of experiences, emotions, and perspectives in life.

These shades can symbolize our joys, sorrows, triumphs, and challenges, emphasizing that life is not just black and white, but contains many gradations in between..

“Morally ambiguous and impartial, gray is the color of complexity–everything that falls in between absolutes.” — Kate Smith, Sensational Color

Living inside the gray area

Our condo came with pale cadet-gray walls, lending a dispassionate coolness to the interior of the place. Our bed comforter is military gray, while our sheets are gunmetal gray. Our bathroom floor rugs and mats are light slate gray.

Subconsciously I had accepted and conformed to the drab, lifeless surroundings, without questioning, or thinking there was another way.

Image: Random corner in Author’s condominium, three shades of gray

Embrace the middle, the gray area

Develop nuanced thinking

I journaled and sketched my way through by taking problems and penciling in their level of importance through shading in gradients of gray. The subtle shades of gray forced me to use and see multiple perspectives. It was easier to recognize depth and sometimes how distorted my thinking had become.

Accept imperfection

In the Japanese philosophy there is a concept named wabi-sabi. Taking inspiration from Buddhist teachings on the three marks of existence – emptiness, suffering and impermanence – Wabi Sabi encourages us to recognize the beauty in simplicity, authenticity and imperfection.—Shalini Misra

It was through these studying these teachings I learned to embrace uncertainty and imperfection through acknowledging the discomfort. I didn’t have to like living in the area I was clearly uncomfortable living in. In other words living in Michigan wasn’t permanent, I just needed to make the best of it. There is beauty in imperfection.

"Sometimes we need the fog to remind ourselves that all of life is not black and white." — Jonathan Lockwood Huie.

Cultivate resilience

The ability to bounce back and stay out of a funk encourages growth and learning from experiences that do not fit neatly into categories of success or failure.

Embrace life's seasons

Recognize that life is a series of cycles and seasons, each with its own set of challenges, joys, and opportunities.

Image Captured: Author’s backyard, January 31, still no sun

Just as gray skies may signal change or transition, so do the gray areas in life signify periods of growth and transformation.

See you next week!